If you’re a man who has difficulty reaching climax during sexual intercourse, then you may have a condition known as delayed ejaculation.
It seems absolutely bizarre to most men, almost all of whom reach the point of orgasm much more quickly than they would like, that there may be a condition in which a man actually finds it difficult to ejaculate during sexual intercourse. Nonetheless, such a condition does exist, and it affects at least 10% of the male population. The reason it is not more well-known is a huge lack of understanding, and possibly some degree of shame in men who have it as well. After all, who would want to admit that the pleasures of sexual intercourse with a partner don’t result in the usual release and satisfaction of orgasm and ejaculation?
Fortunately, it’s possible to treat delayed ejaculation at home using a self-help treatment program. This certainly avoids the difficulty and expense of seeing a sexual therapist on a one-to-one basis, which may be both financially difficult and extremely embarrassing. If such a program is to be effective, it must explain in detail the different causes of delayed ejaculation, and offer a suitable treatment for each of them.
The first and most common cause of delayed ejaculation is possibly that a man, for some reason, does not become sexually aroused during sexual activity – or at least, he doesn’t become sexually aroused enough to reach the point of orgasm and ejaculation. This is easily dealt with by introducing sexual exercises with the partner which are designed to increase the man’s level of arousal so that he can eventually achieve climax without difficulty. You might think it odd that a man wouldn’t know how sexually aroused he was, but this is just the converse of premature ejaculation, when a man is extremely aroused, but he’s so unaware of the fact that he ejaculates long before he wants to do so.
Another cause of delayed ejaculation is harsh and traumatic masturbation methods during puberty, which can condition the penile nerves so that they will only respond to the most vigorous type of sexual stimulation, far more vigorous than would ever be achieved during normal sexual intercourse.
It’s also clear that sometimes when a man has an ejaculation problem like this that he is reluctant to engage in open sexual intercourse with his partner. In other words, he’s not giving himself fully to her and his ejaculation is held back, because at some level he is holding himself psychologically distant from his partner. This may mean that there is hostility or anger in the relationship, or it may mean that a man experiences a lot of sexual shame. All of these issues can be dealt with using simple techniques to improve communication and encourage emotional literacy.
What I want to convey to you is that delayed ejaculation does not have to be a massive problem: no matter how much it may seem to be getting in the way of good sexual relationship, and whether it occurs with just one partner or with every partner, regardless of whether it’s a lifelong problem or a short-term development, it can be cured – and much more easily than you would think. In my treatment program I explain in great detail all the different methods that there are available to bring you back to normal sexual functioning so that you can enjoy fully the pleasure of orgasm and ejaculation within a reasonable timescale – such as 10 minutes.